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Hey Reader,

Yesterday, during a yoga class, the teacher discussed the importance of coherence in our lives. She encouraged us to ask ourselves, "Is there coherence between what you want, what you say (to yourself and to others), and what you do and how you behave?"

My first thought afterwards was, "Do I even know what I really want?

Because I think that's where we often get stuck. We don't allow ourselves the permission to ask what we truly want to get out of this one wonderful, terrifying, often crazy life. And to answer this question without judgment, without shame or guilt, without thinking about what everyone else wants, thinks, or feels, and without holding ourselves back from our core desires.

And, yes, you may believe that you are not ready. Others may believe you aren't ready. That's not the point.

To create coherence in our lives and design a life we truly desire, we first need to be brutally honest with ourselves about what we want and then go after it ruthlessly, despite the fear and the doubt.

Design a Life You Truly Want

You have the power to design exactly the life you’ve always wanted, and because I need this as much as you, let's go through this process together.

This process is not about perfection; it's about exploration.

You don't always need to know the "how" things are going to happen. But you need to know the "what" and the "why".

What if you allowed yourself to dream big? What if you could imagine your life in its fullest form, envisioning what possibilities might be held in your future? What if you could give yourself the space to see what could be and the life you want the most?

What would happen then, honestly?

The truth is that we don’t get stuck because we are unclear or because we don't know what we want. We block ourselves because we are afraid to allow ourselves to imagine the possibilities.

We are afraid to want things because if we don't get them, then that would mean that we're failing, that we're behind, and that everyone else will notice it.

But the real question to ask ourselves is, "What would be the worst thing that would happen if you went after something that you wanted and you failed at it?" "Would you prefer to never have tried, to never know, to never give yourself the chance to experience it?"

Stop waiting

The fear and the doubts may never completely go away, so you have to stop waiting for the fear to go away.

People determine what is impossible before they even try to discover what is possible. And it’s all self-determined.

You haven't tested it for real. You haven't given it a chance, and you have already assumed something isn't possible in your life.

You're saying, “I'm not even going to do this because I don’t think I’m going to be successful at it.”

You're blocking yourself from something before even trying. You're letting the probabilities, the cynicism, the 'hows', the opinions of others, the "you're not ready", hold you back from desiring the things that you want to create and build in your life.

When you're afraid of something, you have to make a decision:

"Do I have more hope and faith that what I want to create in my life is (at the very least) a possibility for me? Or do I have more fear that it will never happen, that it will never be?"

And on those moments when you're holding yourself back, it means that you're leaning more onto the fear than onto the hope of it.

If so, ask yourself this: "Why? Why am I so afraid of this not working out that I won't even allow myself to try?"

Because what if it does? What if things do work out even better than you could imagine?

"How can I create a life of meaning for myself?"

If you give yourself the permission to imagine what you want, then that means that you're also assuming that that life is possible for you.

And that means you can also be more intentional towards creating it.

Trusting in something we can't yet see, having faith in something that still doesn't exist, is one of the most extraordinary gifts we can give ourselves.

To create anything new in your life, you have to open yourself up to the possibility of it existing.

Stop keeping what you want hidden, stop trapping your dreams inside yourself, stop passively waiting for someone to arrive to give you what you want, or for the opportunity to happen, or for things to come your way.

Instead, involve yourself in the process. Say, "I want this so much in my life that I'm going to create it, I'm going to build it, and I'm going to make the opportunity find me instead of only waiting for it". "I'm going to try at least to make it happen".

You can always be more intentional with the things you're designing and constructing in your life.

And by trying, you will always be so much closer to manifesting the extraordinary life that you want for yourself than if you never try at all.

If you don't give yourself the chance now, when will you?

p.s.: Let's be more intentional in designing a life we truly love, and to help you start believing that you can, listen to the full Podcast episode HERE. (Or watch the video!)

A simple exercise to do this

School of Visual Arts' renowned professor and designer Debbie Millman shares a simple exercise that can serve as a blueprint to design the life you want.

Because no matter where you are right now, no matter how stuck, lost, or uncertain you feel about your life's path right now, you can start creating a more intentional, meaningful future today.

Close your eyes, take a moment to imagine this scenario, and journal on these questions.

You wake up, and it’s 10 years from now. Imagine you have exactly the life you want. Describe specifically what you see.

1. Where do you live? How does your home look?
2. Who do you live with? Who is there when you wake up, and who is around in your life?
3. Do you have a partner, a significant other? What is your relationship like? How do you greet each other when you wake up?
4. Do you have children? Pets? Plants around?
5. How is the relationship with your family and friends?
6. How is your health, mental, physical, and spiritual? How do you feel in your body? How do you take care of yourself? What do you do that’s only for you?
7. How do you make money? What do you spend money on? How are your finances?
8. What type of job(s) do you have?
9. What have you accomplished in the last 10 years?
10. What brings you the most joy? What do you do only for fun?
11. What do you love doing the most at this stage of your life?
12. Do you enjoy traveling? Do you travel often? If so, where?
13. Do you have a spiritual practice? Do you have something that makes you feel connected to the world outside of you?
14. How do you manage the hard times?
15. What are you most proud of at this stage of your life?

P.S.1: If you want to go deeper into this work, you can download my workbook "Design a Life You Love" here.​

P.S.2: If you want to feel more inspired and boost your belief that you are capable of creating a life you love, listen to this here!​

One Question to ponder this week

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