​

Hey Reader,

A couple of weeks ago, a girl who didn’t like my scatterbrained, and honestly, a little bit clumsy, and unpunctual self let me know about her discontent with my presence and “way of being”, I guess.

She literally said, “You live in Jenny’s world and I’m not about Jenny’s world at all”.

Since then, I have been thinking about “Jenny’s world”.

The truth is that I’m non-confrontational to my core. I strive to avoid confrontation, the best I can. And so for many things, I prefer to sweep the subject under the rug and not touch at all if I can… I know, I know, probably not my best trait.

But also, I like to think that I’m accountable for my wrongdoings. I try to apologize whenever I do something wrong, and I try to grow and improve myself in the things that I know I’m not good at, especially when I know they may affect others at times (case in point, my issue with punctuality).

I don’t like to say “This is just the way I am” or “This is just the way things are”, nor do I believe in any way that things cannot change or that I can’t improve myself.

But I also know I cannot change someone else’s opinion of me after they have made up their mind, I cannot make anyone else happy or satisfied with their lives for themselves when they're not, and I cannot, for the life of me, make someone else accept me or ‘forgive’ me if they simply don’t want to.

So, when I think about living in “Jenny’s world”, I wonder, “don’t we all”?

Ana lives in “Ana’s world”... Justin lives in “Justin’s world”... Gaby lives in “Gaby’s world”… And like that, everyone lives life from their own 'world'.

Because at our core, we see things from our own perspective and through our own lenses. We may try to put ourselves in other people’s shoes, but we are always seeing things through our own past experiences, our own personality, our priorities and values, as well as our own dreams, goals, and challenges.

And with this, I don’t mean to say that I believe my “world” is more important than your “world”.

I just know that it’s not less important.

I’m the one in charge of “Jenny’s world”. And so, it’s my duty to make Jenny’s world a good place to live in, and though some people may not like that, I hope you know it’s your responsibility to make your own world a good place to live in, too.

And maybe when we are more focused on making our own worlds a good place to live in, we won’t be as focused on whether we like or don’t like other people’s worlds.

Wouldn’t that be nicer? Food for thought.

"Let Them"

You have probably heard by now about Mel Robbins's The Let Them Theory. I finally just started reading this book and wanted to share with you about the nature of why this tool has been so life-changing for so many people around the world.

The Let Them Theory, at its core, is very simple:

Let people have their thoughts, their feelings, their opinions. Then, focus that time and energy (that you would normally focus on worrying about what others are thinking, feeling, or how you are being judged) back on yourself.

You cannot control what this other person does or feels, but you can decide that your time and energy are way more valuable than allowing them to drain you and stress you out.

We are social beings. And so, one of the most important causes of stress in anyone’s life is how we relate with other people.

And here's the thing: You cannot control other people. You can't control what they do, what they say, their opinions, their behavior, if they change, or if they ultimately never change.

But you can control how much space they occupy in your mind. You can choose how much they stress you out and affect your everyday life. And you can decide how you perceive or respond to other people's actions.

That's why when you start protecting your time and energy from everything out there, you recognize how much time and energy you now have to focus on yourself and on the things that matter to you.

The small things that make up your life

Yesterday, I saw a young couple walking together to their car. When they were getting to their car, the guy jogged just a little bit to open the door for the girl, and then the girl kissed him for opening the door for her.

The whole thing probably took less than a minute to happen, but it made me think about how it's those small things, those "small" gestures, the ones that make you feel like you're loved, like you matter to someone, and how they are the ones that make your day, and by making your day, they make your life.

It's the good morning hugs, it's the smiles you give to each other after not seeing each other for the day, it's the opening of the door, it's the 'sleep well' text, it's the holding of the hand when you're walking together, it's the "I got you coffee", it's the interest you show in knowing how the other person's day was and how they feel.

It's those small things done consistently, the ones that create big ripple effects, even when we don't see them in the moment.

And this isn't true only for romantic relationships either.

The attitude that you bring to things, the positive vibes, the kindness with which you treat others, the words of encouragement you give to the people around you, all those things matter; they create a powerful ripple effect in the world around you.

So, if you have ever felt like you're invisible, if you have ever wondered if 'what you do' or 'who you are' matters, I want you to reaffirm yourself that you do matter. Your presence, your ideas, your attitude, your words, they all affect the reality around you and everyone you come in contact with. Don't discount your own existence and your own contribution in life.

Three mindset shifts to make today

"You deserve more credit for how hard you're trying."

You have no idea how hard you’re trying, and you don’t give yourself credit for it.

The truth is that often we are scanning for the one thing we didn't do, for the things we didn't finish, or for the things we failed at, and so, that’s what we primarily focus on.

You have trained yourself to see the things you’re not doing instead of giving yourself credit for all the things you are doing. Stop doing that. Instead, start making your inner cheerleader, that inner coach, be louder than your inner critic.

Effort counts, even when the results are not coming as fast as you would like them to. That's why it's so important that you notice your progress and give yourself some credit for how hard you are trying. Because otherwise, you are going to stop.

Why would you continue to push through the hard periods of your life if you are constantly bashing yourself and pointing out the things you didn’t do well? Don't make the hard work you do, be invisible to yourself.

Your own acknowledgement matters the most. Train yourself to stop constantly criticizing yourself and triple down on the things that you are doing well. Write down your wins, acknowledge the things you're proud of, and tell others about them too.

Program yourself to make room for celebration and forward momentum.

You need that in life; life is hard enough without you dragging yourself down. Stop waiting for validation to come from other people, and start giving yourself credit for how hard you're trying.

You've got to recognize your own effort and fill your own tank so you can keep going. Start noticing the little wins and the little things you do every single day.

"You're allowed to be a work in progress."

We all struggle with trying to make things perfect or with looking for the perfect moment. And so, we continually put things off because we think "we are not ready".

That’s an attitude that got programmed in your brain by fear and negativity.

Instead, when you focus on being a work in progress, you are basically saying is “I’m going to grow, I’m going to make mistakes, I’m still figuring things out, I'm in progress”.

And that means that you're allowed to do things without a concrete plan, that means you're allowed to fail and learn in the process, that means you can take action even if you don't feel 100% 'ready'.

You are permitting yourself to not have it all together yet, to not have all the answers, to not feel completely prepared for the next step, and to still allow yourself to take messy action and do the things you want to do, imperfectly, without continuing to "wait for the right time".

You're allowing yourself to move forward with life (instead of waiting for life).

"If you just keep showing up, life will reward you."

It’s so easy to quit when you feel like nothing is happening, like you’re behind, and like the results are nowhere to be found.

It's easy to quit when things don't look like how you thought they would (or should) look, when things don't occur in the timeline that you thought they were supposed to happen.

But if you honestly believe that if you continue putting in the work and showing up, you will get rewarded, that life will reward you, you won’t quit, you won’t give up, you will keep yourself in the game.

And that’s why so often what you need to persevere, to keep going, to keep showing up, is the belief that it matters, that all that effort you're putting into something isn't wasted, and that it will eventually be worth it.

That's why if you want to create consistency in any area of your life, program your brain for perseverance, for hope, for faith, for possibility, and to move through obstacles thinking they are there to help you.

If something hasn’t happened in your life, it just means it hasn’t happened yet.

Don’t quit and keep showing up for the things you want to create in your life. And start believing that life will always reward your hard work.

One question to ponder on this week

That's a sign of growth, too.

P.S.: I would love to know any mindset shifts you have been able to incorporate into your life that have felt life-changing (maybe even in the smallest, simplest ways) and if you're seeing any windows where before you only used to see walls. Let's connect! ❤️

Love creating your mind one day at a time? Forward this to a friend so they can get in on the action and sign up below. Subscribe to The Created Mind Thank you for reading and sharing, Jenny ​​​​

​