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Hey Reader,

I didn't know what to write to you this week.

Not because I have nothing to say to you, but because many things in my life have remained much the same as in the past few weeks.

I have been running a lot more lately, I have been trying to cook more at home with new recipes and ingredients, I have been eating (and craving) a lot more fruit and complex carbs from all the running, I have been working on recording and editing new Podcast episodes, and I have been 'trying' (keyword here) to be more productive without burning myself out.

But not knowing how to start this Newsletter today made me realize two things:

• When you commit to something, the point is not always to do it perfectly. Sometimes the point is just to see it through.

A year ago, around this time, I committed to sending out a weekly newsletter on Sundays. To today's date, I have sent you 50 newsletters.

It has not been perfect by any means. There have been a lot of weeks when I truly don't know what to write about. Still, I have been able to push through and consistently get it done.

And so, what I realized is that sometimes sitting down in front of a blank page and reflecting on the past week and what I'm currently going through and learning about is the whole point.

The goal when I started this newsletter was simple: I wanted to share my voice, connect with you, boost my creativity, and become a better writer through the practice of consistent writing.

I believe I have been able to accomplish this and much more. I have been able to put my thoughts on paper. I have been able to connect and talk with many of you about what's going on in your lives. And I have been able to reflect on what is working (or not) in my own life as a way to hopefully help you in yours, too.

• The process is what changes you. The messiness is what changes you. The "not knowing" how to do something and still striving to do it, that's what changes you.

I can still remember the feeling of moving to New York from Venezuela over 12 years ago and having to figure out how to live alone for the first time ever.

I can still remember the first time I had to take the subway, having never used public transportation before in my country, and feeling incredibly overwhelmed by the whole process and the whole line and color system.

I can still remember the embarrassment and vulnerability I felt the first time I had to ask for help and directions in my broken, barely there at that time, English.

I can still remember the feeling of being so incredibly lost and terrified.

But I can still remember the excitement and the feeling of accomplishment I would get when I got it right or when I started to feel like I was "getting it". I can remember those moments when I finally got to where I needed to go without having to ask for help, and how independent and proud I felt.

And even though it may sound silly, it's exactly those parts of my experience of moving to another country by myself, the ones that changed me, and the way I show up to challenges in my life.

We often don't see it in the moment, but I truly believe that it's those moments when we're in the middle of the messiness, of the discomfort, of the struggle, the ones that really change us at a cellular level, and the ones where growth, evolution, and expansion are the only way forward.

A simple, small reminder that if you think nothing is happening, just know this:

No struggle or challenge you experience in life ever comes without growth as a byproduct of it.

Trust that your effort in any domain of life is never wasted.

"Do it together."

One of the best ways to create progress in an area of your life that feels new is to do it together alongside people on the same (or similar) journey.

Let me explain...

Thinking back on these past couple of years, whenever I would say that I wanted to run a full marathon but would not register for it or start training to do it, it wasn't because of laziness or lack of commitment. It was instead due to this fear and this sense of intimidation of what the process may entail and what it would involve.

Making progress in any new area of our lives can feel intimidating due to the uncertainty that comes with it.

That's why so many of us never start that process.

When you do it with someone else, though, it lightens the load. It feels more doable, more manageable, and much less intimidating to do.

At least, that's what happened for me when I finally committed to start training for a full marathon. As my boyfriend decided to start training for his own out-of-depth, incredibly challenging race, he's doing an ultramarathon of 100 miles next year, I decided I could also start training for my own version of an out-of-depth race, a full marathon.

The fact that we're both training together for something that feels totally out of our comfort zone (and current capacity) makes it feel more doable and manageable than doing it by myself.

This is the same thing that happens when people hire fitness or business coaches to accomplish a specific goal. Doing it by yourself makes the task seem bigger and more intimidating than it actually is. But when you're doing it together, alongside someone who is also in the trenches with you, the challenge feels so much more attainable.

This is also proven by science.

In a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers from the University of Virginia studied the impact of social support on how we perceive challenges.

This study determined that the visual perception of geographical slant is influenced by physiological resources, such as physical fitness, age, and being physically refreshed.

In the two studies, they tested whether a psychosocial resource, social support, can also affect the visual perception of slants. The results were incredible:

• Participants accompanied by a friend estimated the hill to be less steep (and therefore, less intimidating) when compared to participants who were alone (Study 1).
• Similarly, participants who thought of a supportive friend during an imagery task saw a hill as less steep than participants who either thought of a neutral person or a person they disliked (Study 2).

In both studies, the effects of relationships on visual perception also appear to be influenced by the quality of the relationship (including the duration of the relationship, closeness, and warmth of the relationship).

The researchers concluded that the brain treats supportive relationships as an additional energy resource in our minds. When you feel connected to others in challenging situations, the load lightens in your mind.

The challenge remains the same, but your perception of it changes.

You have agency and power over your life.

While many things are outside your control, I think that believing you are capable of taking action to change your circumstances and to create your desired outcomes is what makes you behave in a way that conveys that you fundamentally have agency over your life.

In the same way, however, many times in life you need to accept the fact that some things are simply outside your control.

Whenever you find yourself in those moments where you're stuck in traffic, or the weather gets bad, or someone close to you changes the plan and cancels, release the need to control the situation, and focus on the things you have agency over at that moment.

• Use the traffic to call someone you've been meaning to talk to and listen to music, or a podcast you enjoy.
• Use the bad weather to put on the cute boots and the stylish coat you never wear, grab a big umbrella, and get on with your day as much as you can.
• Use the extra time you now have from the cancelled plans to work on something that matters to you, to do something you enjoy, or to finish a task you have left.

If you do not try to control the uncontrollables, but instead see them as a natural part of your life that gives you different opportunities and possibilities... If you strive to flow with them instead of resisting them, you regain your agency because you concentrate your actions on the things that truly matter and that you can change.

The more we try to control the things we cannot control, the less peace and happiness we feel.

• Peace is not found in peace. Real peace is found in the middle of chaos.
• Control is not found in control. Real control is found in the surrender of the things that are not ours to control.

So, whenever you find yourself dealing with a lot of uncertainty, ask yourself these two questions:

1. What's within my power to control and to change?

If something is outside of your control, take it out of your mind, too.

2. What benefit can I take from this situation?

Every new challenge creates an opportunity for growth.

You may not control everything that happens in your life, but you can always control your response.

Love creating your mind one day at a time? Forward this to a friend so they can get in on the action and sign up below. Subscribe to The Created Mind Thank you for reading and sharing, Jenny ​​​​

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