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Hey Reader,

What type of pain are you experiencing right now?

The pain of discipline, of taking action despite your fears, of uncomfortable growth? Or the pain of not going after the things you want, of doubting yourself, of making yourself and the things you want smaller?

Doing hard, uncomfortable things never gets easier, you just get stronger and better at handling them. Doing hard things changes you, it makes you grow in ways you were not even expecting.

Be really honest with yourself and answer this:

"At the end of your life, what will you regret not having tried? Not having gone after? Not having given it the chance?"

I feel like the pain of regret, of not going after the things we want now, of not trying, simply because it may seem too difficult or hard to do, can weigh on our souls deeply.

And the truth is that complaining about our situation, blaming others, making excuses for ourselves, or pointing fingers, never really takes us anywhere worth going. It just keeps us further stuck in this cycle of regret, shame, and guilt.

The reality we all have to face is that nobody is coming to save us. Nobody is coming to do the work for us. It's all on us. We are the ones in control. Of everything! Of our destiny, of giving it our all, and of not letting regret become the default for our lives.

You are more than capable of going after the things that ignite you.

You are more than capable of squeezing everything you want out of this life.

You are more than capable. Of embracing the pain of discipline and doing the hard things you need to do to get the life you want for yourself. Of figuring things out. Of meeting the challenges of your life with energy, curiosity, and joy. Of saying, "What an opportunity this is to step out, to grow, and to level up my life".

You are the one you have been waiting for. And you are more than capable of becoming the person who has the life you want to create.

Never forget it!

You are here to live

What makes a life worth living?

Have you ever wondered what makes a life worth living? What makes YOUR life worth living?

We all have one shared, simple (and, at the same time, very complex) goal. We all want to figure out what we should do with our lives.

Growing up, I always said I wanted to be a doctor. When my parents' friends visited our house, I would always get my first-aid kit and offer Hello Kitty and Pokémon band-aids to anyone who arrived at our house.

I loved feeling like I was helping people.

That feeling has never changed. But as I got older and started to truly consider what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, it got a little bit easier to admit that I didn't really want to be a doctor. I have never liked hospitals or blood, so that by itself would have made it tough.

The thing is this: We all want to have purpose. We all want to live a life that feels like we're creating change and making an impact in the world.

And often, we relate purpose and meaning to a successful career.

Though being able to do work you enjoy or that you find rewarding may be a vital part of leading a fulfilled life, I believe it's also important to consider all the different parts of your life that are worth being alive for.

At some point, I think we all struggle to "find" our purpose, to figure out what the meaning of our lives is.

But no matter what it is that you consider meaningful, your life is always calling. It's asking you to pick up and say, "I'm ready to squeeze you and get all I can out of you".

Life is full of the messy, the intense, the beautiful, the weird, the frustrating, the fulfilling... Oftentimes, all at the same time (and even on the same day).

My advice to myself is to learn to play and laugh more. To make time for curiosity and possibility. To remind myself frequently that I can take things less seriously. And to notice how much wonder and beauty are already surrounding me.

Do Work That Is For You

Find something that inspires you

I think we underestimate the importance of doing work that is for ourselves, of doing things just for the sake of doing them, of finding things that interest us and inspire us, and, simply put, of playing.

I always find it humbling when I think about how many people spend their entire lives doing things they don't care about, with people they don't like, in places they don't enjoy, just out of this misconception that there are no other options.

My hope for you, my call to you, even (and let's be honest, to myself) is NOT to live a life of quiet desperation.

To be savagely honest with yourself about the things you don't like about your life and to be willing to put in the work to change them.

And to start believing, like really believing, you have the power to change them, in the first place.

In May of 1990, Bill Watterson, the cartoonist famous for the successful Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, said this when he delivered the commencement speech "Some thoughts on the real world by one who glimpsed it and fled", at Kenyon College:

Creating your own life's meaning is not an easy task, and you may often be questioning if you are on the right path, but by going after the things that really interest you and ignite you, by cultivating the things that light you up, you will be able to create so much more joy and happiness in your daily life.

Don't be so caught up in this concept of being successful and productive that you forget to be happy and to make time to have fun and enjoy your life.

Recognize the "Default Setting"

Exactly 15 years later, in May of 2005, at the same place at Kenyon College, David Foster Wallace delivered the annual commencement speech, famously known as “This Is Water”. He said:

At any moment, we can embrace our ability to decide where and how we direct our attention, our awareness, and our energy to create more meaning in our lives.

Foster Wallace mentions how we often allow ourselves to fall into this unconscious "default setting", where we get caught up in the annoyances of the "day-in-day-out" and where things like the traffic jam or a crowded supermarket become a tale of misery and dread.

Ask yourself this:

• What am I choosing to focus on, day in and day out?
• What am I always thinking, talking, and complaining about?
• And is that which I am constantly focusing on, serving me, helping me, and making me grow?

Start by recognizing your own power.

Start by acknowledging that the choice is yours to make. You are the one who has to decide how to think and what you want to think about.

Remind yourself often, day-in-and-day-out, that you can choose how you direct the two biggest currencies you have: Your attention and your energy.

The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing… It is about the real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: “This is water."

Action Items:

So, this coming week, whenever you default to complaining about your life, I want you to do these two things:

1. Ask yourself: "How can I see this from another, more helpful, and kinder perspective?" "How can I drop the fight and the resistance and flow with whatever is happening in my life instead?" >> Stop defaulting to the automatic mode of looking for the bad.
2. Remind yourself that 'that' which is annoying you right now is made by the same force that created the stars, love, and even yourself. >> Everything can be full of magic and beauty if we allow ourselves to look for it.

Learn to question yourself often about what makes your life (and not anyone else's) feel meaningful and fulfilling. Be open to the answers changing and transforming. And defy the default mode of negativity and complaining we all have.

Maybe, just maybe, you will even start realizing that the water is pretty enjoyable today.

And on those moments when you feel lost, remember this: You are never lost.

You are always simply in a constant process of discovering and becoming.

P.S.: If you are struggling with self-doubt and negative self-talk, I've got you! Download the FREE “Boost your Self-Belief and Overcome Self-Doubt” 30-Day Challenge and Cheat Sheet HERE.​

Love creating your mind one day at a time? Forward this to a friend so they can get in on the action and sign up below. Subscribe to The Created Mind Thank you for reading and sharing, Jenny ​​​​

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